You've been putting off this conversation for three weeks.

You told yourself you'd bring it up at the next 1:1. Then the next one. Then you figured you'd wait for the quarterly review. Now you're three months in and the problem is bigger, your frustration is louder, and when you finally say something, it comes out sideways. Too intense, too vague, or so carefully softened that it doesn't land at all.

This is how most managers give feedback. No SBI feedback model. No structure. Just reluctance, delay, and conversations that go sideways.

It's not because they're bad managers. It's because nobody taught them a framework that makes feedback safe to give and useful to receive. The SBI feedback model changes that. It's one of the simplest tools any new manager can put to work in their next 1:1.

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Why Managers Avoid Giving Feedback

Most managers are scared of feedback conversations.

Not because they're conflict-averse cowards. Because they've seen (or been on the receiving end of) feedback that went badly. Feedback that came out as personal criticism. Feedback that damaged a relationship without actually changing the behaviour. Feedback delivered from a place of frustration that the other person couldn't hear because it felt like an attack.

Gallup data shows that only about 26% of employees strongly agree that the feedback they receive helps them do better work. That means 74% of feedback conversations aren't working. And when feedback doesn't work, managers stop giving it. Which means problems compound quietly until someone quits or performance suffers enough to become impossible to ignore.

Kim Scott, in Radical Candor, puts it this way: the alternative to good feedback isn't no feedback. It's "ruinous empathy," the false kindness of staying quiet to preserve the relationship while the other person keeps making the same mistakes and can't understand why they're not advancing.

That costs them. And it costs you.

The fix isn't to become the kind of manager who "tells it like it is" with no filter. That's not directness. That's carelessness with people's dignity. The fix is a structure that lets you give clear, honest feedback without making it personal.

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What the SBI Feedback Model Is

The SBI model comes from the Center for Creative Leadership and stands for: Situation, Behaviour, Impact.

The structure is this:

That's it. Situation. Behaviour. Impact. Three components. One specific, honest, non-personal feedback conversation.

The reason this model works is that it separates the behaviour from the person. You're not saying "you're dismissive" or "you're not a team player." You're saying: here's what I observed, here's what it affected, let's talk about it.

This is the difference between feedback that lands and feedback that provokes defensiveness. When people feel attacked as a person, they defend the self. When they hear a specific behaviour described, they can engage with it.

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SBI in Action: Three Tech Workplace Examples

Theory lands better with examples. Here are three common feedback scenarios in a tech environment and how the SBI model handles each.

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Example 1: The Missed Commitment

The SBI version is harder to dismiss. It's specific. It's factual. It doesn't attack character. It describes a gap between a commitment and what happened.

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Example 2: The Communication Pattern

Without SBI: "People feel like you're hard to work with."

With SBI: "In the past three weeks, I've had two different engineers come to me separately after meetings where you were presenting (Situation). In both conversations, they mentioned that when someone raised a concern about your approach, your response was to repeat your original point more forcefully rather than engage with the concern (Behaviour). I'm seeing people stop raising questions in those meetings, which means we might be shipping something without surfacing the problems early (Impact)."

The vague version ("people feel you're hard to work with") puts the person immediately on the defensive. Who said that? When? The SBI version is still difficult to hear. But it gives the person something concrete to respond to and change.

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Example 3: Positive Feedback

SBI works for recognition too. Most managers are stingy with positive feedback because it feels unnecessary. But specific positive feedback is one of the highest-return investments in your management toolkit.

Without SBI: "Great job on the product demo."

With SBI: "In Tuesday's client presentation (Situation), when the client pushed back on the pricing model, you paused, acknowledged their concern, and walked them through the ROI calculation step by step without getting flustered (Behaviour). The client sent a follow-up that afternoon asking to move forward. That moment turned a potential stall into a win (Impact)."

The specific version tells the person exactly what worked, so they can repeat it. "Great job" tells them nothing about what to do again.

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Where to Give SBI Feedback: Timing and Setting

The structure matters. So does the setting.

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What to Do After You Deliver the SBI

The SBI model is a structure for delivering feedback, not for closing a conversation. After you've stated the Situation, Behaviour, and Impact, stop. Let the other person respond.

Their response will tell you a lot. They might acknowledge the impact immediately. In that case, move into what you'd like to see differently. They might provide context you didn't have. In that case, the Impact might be different than you thought. They might disagree. In that case, you have a conversation, not a verdict.

What you're listening for is their experience of the event. Did they know the behaviour was having that impact? Often they don't. The engineer who interrupted a teammate might have had no idea the room went quiet afterward. Knowing that is actionable. Not knowing it, they'll keep doing it.

After hearing them out, close the loop with a clear ask: "Going forward, when someone raises a concern in a meeting, what's one thing you could try differently?" Let them choose the adjustment. Ownership of the solution is what drives actual change.

This is the piece that most feedback training skips. Delivering feedback is only half the work. Coaching someone through what to do differently (and then checking in on it) is how behaviour actually changes.

For more on building the kind of trust where these conversations become natural, see our guide to psychological safety in teams.

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The Feedback You're Not Giving

The quiet truth about feedback avoidance: the people on your team who most need feedback are often the ones you're most reluctant to give it to. The high performer who also bulldozes people. The long-tenured employee whose habits have calcified. The talented person who doesn't know they're alienating teammates.

You're not protecting them by staying quiet. You're denying them the information they need to grow.

That's the frame shift that makes the SBI model worth learning. Feedback isn't criticism. It's information. It's the data someone needs to understand how their actions are landing and what they could do differently. Withholding it isn't kindness. It's a disservice.

The managers who build the strongest teams are the ones who make feedback a normal, regular, specific conversation. Not a twice-yearly event delivered in a performance review. They use structures like SBI not because feedback is comfortable, but because they've decided their team deserves the honesty.

For a full framework on first-time manager training, including where feedback skills fit in the 90-day arc, we've put together a complete guide for tech companies.

Ready to build a feedback culture on your team? Download the New Manager Playbook. It includes the 1:1 framework, the 30-60-90 day plan, and the delegation model we use in our manager development programs.

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Frequently Asked Questions